The Top Signs You're at a Redneck Wedding
The groom can't pull the garter over the bride's diabetic foot.
The newlyweds' first dance is to "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy".
Bridesmaids outnumber teeth.
The tables don't have centerpieces . . . just spittoons.
The couple is registered at a Bass Pro Shop.
The father-daughter dance is also the bride-groom dance.
Jeff Foxworthy is there taking notes for a new book.
The bridesmaids all wear matching "MAGA" hats.
The priest quotes liberally from the Book of Job, the Book of Ruth . . . and the autobiography of Chuck Norris.
Although it's not a "shotgun wedding," everyone has a shotgun.
The rehearsal dinner ends early because wrestling's on.
The schedule of events goes vows, photos, cockfight, reception.
The minister reads the line, "Till meth do us part."
It might be canceled if the bride doesn't make bail.
The bride and groom ride off on a four-wheeler with Busch Light cans tied to the bumper.
Instead of "You may kiss the bride," the minister concludes the ceremony by shouting, "GIT 'ER DONE!"
The best man's toast includes a reference to the South rising again.
It's BYOB . . . bring your own bullets.
They invited you.